People who live in glass houses
should make love in the basement.
Never read the fine print.
There ain't no way you're going to like it.
If you let a smile be your umbrella,
most likely your butt will get soaking wet.
The only two things
we do with greater frequency
in middle age are urinate and attend funerals.
The trouble with bucket seats
is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
To err is human, to forgive - highly unlikely.
Do you realize that in about 40 years,
we'll have thousands of old ladies
running around with tattoos?
Money can't buy happiness --
but somehow it's more comfortable
to cry in a Porsche than in a Hyundai.
Drinking makes some husbands
see double and feel single.
Living in a nudist colony
takes all the fun out of Halloween.
After a certain age,
if you don't wake up aching in every joint,
you are probably dead.
How about YOU sending something for this column.
Do it below, that is if you can stay awake long enough to do it!
Copyright 2004 United States Coast Guard Lightship Sailors by MGM IMAGING . All rights reserved.
Copyrights also protected by the Digital Millennium Copyright Act of 1998 Revised: 05/11/07.